When Elder Ballard was talking about councils, particularly those with the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, I was struck with the idea of everyone having a chance to be heard, each person being led by the spirit, and then reaching a conclusion that everyone fully agrees with. It is amazing to me that there is such unity and love in these meetings - but then again, could I really have expected anything less? Truly, all couples could learn from this and apply it to marriage councils.
For one, my husband and I have agreed never to yell at one another. We know that disagreements and irritations will arise, and they have, but we have always done our best to keep our voices down and I think that we have done quite well on this front. It certainly helps with truly listening and communicating with one another.
We always do really well with giving each other the chance to speak, and I've always appreciated that. On the other hand though, most of the time I don't feel like we come to an actual conclusion; usually we just go with whatever he says, and I feel like that happens because I cave and think that it's best because of his anxiety. Because of his anxiety I also feel this pressure to only bring up one issue at a time, a day or two apart, just so I don't overwhelm him - like I'm tip-toeing around his anxiety, trying to make it as easy as possible. This probably isn't the healthiest way to handle the situation, but so far it's been alright... aside from some feelings of resentment on my part and thinking that his anxiety is controlling our relationship, and most likely, it's just me. Most likely I am the issue and I just need to face up to it.
Communicating clearly with one another is not always an easy task, but it is possible. It is possible to follow the spirit and work together towards what the Lord wants. You just have to be willing to open your heart and mind and take the action. It is the best thing to do for the relationship, and the best way to grow in love with God and with each other.
For one, my husband and I have agreed never to yell at one another. We know that disagreements and irritations will arise, and they have, but we have always done our best to keep our voices down and I think that we have done quite well on this front. It certainly helps with truly listening and communicating with one another.
We always do really well with giving each other the chance to speak, and I've always appreciated that. On the other hand though, most of the time I don't feel like we come to an actual conclusion; usually we just go with whatever he says, and I feel like that happens because I cave and think that it's best because of his anxiety. Because of his anxiety I also feel this pressure to only bring up one issue at a time, a day or two apart, just so I don't overwhelm him - like I'm tip-toeing around his anxiety, trying to make it as easy as possible. This probably isn't the healthiest way to handle the situation, but so far it's been alright... aside from some feelings of resentment on my part and thinking that his anxiety is controlling our relationship, and most likely, it's just me. Most likely I am the issue and I just need to face up to it.
Communicating clearly with one another is not always an easy task, but it is possible. It is possible to follow the spirit and work together towards what the Lord wants. You just have to be willing to open your heart and mind and take the action. It is the best thing to do for the relationship, and the best way to grow in love with God and with each other.