What stood out to me the most in this weeks’ readings was just how much the little things contribute to the overall picture. Over and over again Goddard and Gottman were saying that we need to turn ourselves to our spouse and consciously make the decision to do so every day and be happy to spend time with one another as friends and spouses. It is the small things like cleaning the house, doing the dishes, and running various errands, always together, that help to make a marriage stronger.
Sometimes we are making bids for our spouses’ attention - such as wanting to talk about the day, or a plan for the upcoming weeks, or even asking for help with the chores or for the attendance of the spouse while running an errand. If we constantly, or at the very least regularly, respond to these bids in kind and take action to truly show that we love our spouse and want to spend time with them, then it is all an addition to the love that you share and will help carry you through when the times get rough.
This does not mean that you always have to give up what you are doing in order to focus on your spouse - sometimes it is as simple as calling them during a lunch break to see how a test or meeting turned out, or to do something before your spouse can ask for the help. It is about keeping your significant other at the forefront of your mind and finding ways to show them that they are important and that they matter.
No one wants to feel like they are unappreciated or unvalued, and especially they do not want to feel as if they are unimportant to their own spouse. So take the time to think about what you can do, and then take action. It matters.
Sometimes we are making bids for our spouses’ attention - such as wanting to talk about the day, or a plan for the upcoming weeks, or even asking for help with the chores or for the attendance of the spouse while running an errand. If we constantly, or at the very least regularly, respond to these bids in kind and take action to truly show that we love our spouse and want to spend time with them, then it is all an addition to the love that you share and will help carry you through when the times get rough.
This does not mean that you always have to give up what you are doing in order to focus on your spouse - sometimes it is as simple as calling them during a lunch break to see how a test or meeting turned out, or to do something before your spouse can ask for the help. It is about keeping your significant other at the forefront of your mind and finding ways to show them that they are important and that they matter.
No one wants to feel like they are unappreciated or unvalued, and especially they do not want to feel as if they are unimportant to their own spouse. So take the time to think about what you can do, and then take action. It matters.
This week I also had a classmate remind me about love languages. If you feel that you and your spouse have different love languages, it is important that you communicate this with one another. When you understand one another more, then you will be more receptive to these bids for attention, and you will be more understanding and receptive even if it isn't in your own love language. Always keep your spouse in mind, and do your best to make one another happy.