We were told the three T's for honestly getting to know someone:
Togetherness: you need to participate in a wide range of activities together in order to know their true character, how invested they are in the relationship.
Talk: not just about the day-to-day happenings, but the couple must be mutually self-disclosing. True intimacy is to be mutually revealing about yourself.
Time: three months is only the beginning. People change, and you'll only know more about someone as more time passes.
This makes sense to me. Honestly, if these things aren't happening, you don't even have a friend - that person becomes an acquaintance, or the person you knew a long time ago that you send a Christmas card and occasional email to. These things are essential for building a relationship and getting to know someone.
Brother Williams made another interesting connection for us this week.
Makes a Date Planned Paid for Paired Off | Roles of a Husband Preside Provide Protect |
He expounded upon these connections that stating that by what he has observed in marriage counseling, and what has been proven, are that the patterns that are established during dating will be the same while the couple is married, and these are usually established early in the relationship.
What I think I can take from this is that I need to start of the relationship in the way, with the qualities, that I want to continue through in my marriage. If things don't work that way, then it's not worth the time to pursue the relationship any further. Simple as that.
Know what you want, stick to your values, and make sure that they are there all the way through the relationship!